Saturday, August 30, 2008

Bribing

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I took a parenting class at church and it addressed bribes and how we should't bribe our children. It addressed the many verses on bribing and what the Bible said. I thought of all the times I bribed Kai into going on errands with me using a lollipop. I just didn't want to deal with all the tantrums and such. So I cut out the bribes and resorted to discipline and I'm amazed to say that the tantrums don't happen too much anymore.
Which brings me to potty training. How do you potty train and not bribe? Certainly you can't use discipline to get them to use the potty. (believe me I've tried and it went like this "get on the potty or you're sitting in time out! Kai spit at me or something like that) For Kai it's a big control issue and every one of his friends are potty trained now but him. I tried potty training him 2 months ago and he was screaming and kicking when I mentioned him using the potty. Which brings us to last week when my church said he can not move up to the 3 year old room with his friends until he is potty trained and turns 3. Well his birthday is in 2 weeks and he gets really sad about not being with his friends. So I went against everything I was taught in the class and used M&M's as a bribe. I'm happy to say that he has done amazingly in 1 weeks time and went poop all by himself today while I was cleaning.

So maybe potty training bribes are okay but I do tend to wonder if he'll be 5 years old and I'll still have to give him a piece of candy for peeing and a toy car if he poops. Please tell me he will forget about those rewards at some point and what does that transition look like?

2 comments:

Amy said...

i've given up the bribes for otty training after doing it with Kami. M&M's worked, but then she just did it for candy. However, she still had several accidents and as the candy tapered off, so did her deisre to go on her own. Then one day it jsut clicked and she decied all on her own to use the potty.
Now facing it with Skylar I have found that the less I bring mention of it (other than encouraging her to go when I think it's been a while or if I can tell by her facial expression), the better she does. SO I just praise her alot when she goes on her own. She doesn't go very often in the toilet while we are at home, but almost every shopping trip she says she has to go, and she does! Diapers are dry and she uses the potty's while we are out.
Good luck! He IS only 3 which isn't ""old" for not being PT'd for a boy. My friends son was right around 4, and my husband (from what I hear) was about 5! haha! PT'ing and eating are the two things they can control, so there really isn't anything you can do about it to make it happen. They have to want to, so do what will foster the desire. Shaming and threats won't make someone want to do anything, but encouragement and support will. :)

Rinda said...

We used stickers are the bribe, and he would put them on this piece of paper that we taped to the wall.....eventually, he didn't care. If he asked for a sticker, I gave it to him. After 2 or 3 weeks, he didn't ask anymore. It was great!

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