Breastfeeding woes

I usually post about my kids but I like to think of my blog as a place to espress my deepest concerns, worries, praises, and nonsense. So here I go...I had a breast reduction 9 years ago and I was told that I would have a 50% chance of breastfeeding. I was 19 and really didn't care about that since I didn't even know if I would get married. Once I was pregnant with Kai I really started to think about that and I had a strong desire to want to breastfeed. A dear friend of mine told me about bfar.org, a support group for women who had a reduction. What a blessing! It's a bunch of women who tell you that you can do it even without a full supply.

Once I had Kai my milk came in and I had about a 50% supply. I was depressed about it and regretting my surgery. Nurses told me I should just give formula and he clearly was still left hungry after I fed him. I went on medication to produce more milk, I had to overcome the odds! I struggled for 6 months, pumping, taking medication, praying for more milk, and supplementing with formula. I eventually weaned him at 6 months and just gave him formula. I never overcame the suffering of not being able to fully breastfeed for that first year.

When I had Nash I didn't know what was going to happen. Through my trusty friends from the website, I found an herbal supplement that I could take with the medication. I started that and to my astonishment I had a full supply! Nash is 10 months old and I have been able to produce enough milk to feed his needs. It's an amazing feeling and bonding experience. Last week I decided to go off the medication and start to give him milk as well as breastfeed since the meds have side effects that aren't pleasant. My milk supply dropped and Nash became very fussy and I've had to give him lots of formula because he decided he doesn't like milk! Once again I'm going through depressing feelings that I can't give my baby what he wants and needs. So I'm starting the medication again but I don't get it for another week and it takes a couple of weeks to kick in. It will be hard until then but there is nothing like nursing your baby and that connection you get. It really is a feeling that God created for us moms. One day I hope to help people in the same situation that I was in and be there chearleader that they can do it and overcome the odds as well.

T