MONDAY. Monday is tough for many people because it represents the start of their work week. Monday represents something a bit different to us. It represents hope. A new week hoping to hear back from the job that Devin was promised. However today, this Monday, represents 3 weeks since Devin was suppose to start his job and for that reason it has been a tough day for my husband and I emotionally.
Today is the day that Devin has to apply for jobs again because all we have heard from the 'promised job' is that they are waiting on approval from his company and it's been 3 weeks. In a way I feel the joy, hope, and feeling of an end to this trial was all taken away from us. When it felt too good to be true, I wonder if it really was just that, too good. And so I am reflective today because we are coming up on 1 year of being back (April 4th) and I see that I have two choices.
1. Get angry at God and the world in general and sit in a place of despair
2. Don't give up my joy but see past my circumstances and believe God's word for what it says
I've sat in 1. for a good portion of my life and let me tell you it didn't get me anywhere but deeper into my hole. So what does 2. look like for me? Basically I'm going to believe that God is good all the time. He doesn't have any bad to dish out because he is good. He works everything out for good and has plans to prosper us and not harm us. He has provided enough money for us to live today and that is true provision. He says I can give him all my worries and troubles and he will strengthen me and support me. He says I am not alone, that He is always with me. He says He is a God of blessing and loves me more then I love my own child. He says to look to Jesus who has saved me and given me life because he loves me. He will provide for me even more then he does for the birds and animals on this earth.
Today is a day where I am consciously choosing to dwell in safe pastures with him even when I'm crying and I'm thankful for that.