Thursday, May 20, 2010

Thankfulness Day 101:: Looking for the End

Hubby became out of work last April.  For one whole year he couldn't find any work except the occasional worship leading at churches.  After one year to the day he got an interview for a temp job and that is what he is doing now.  For a few weeks that has given me peace, a steady income of some sort, and a resting that I haven't been able to do all year. 

But the last few days I've been feeling unrest again.   Will he ever get a permanent job with benefits and a stable income to move us out of my parents home?  Will we ever have a space of our own again?  I constantly feel like a burden trying to make everyone happy, keep the kids from screaming or fighting, and not letting messes stay around.  I'm tired of it all and I want to see an end in sight.  There is an end right? 

That is where my faith comes into play and I know the right answer is to sit back having joy knowing that God is taking care of it all.  But some days, like today, I have a hard time seeing past my current circumstances.  I wouldn't take back the year we've had because we have all gone through so much growth, it was necessary, needed, and painful.  I think I'm just feel done with it all.  I'm ready for some change and I want to see my hubby love what he is doing. 

So here I am today, just praying big that changes will be made in the near future and we can have a place of our own.

Today I am thankful that I have a place to live.


Melanie Gao said...

That's such a nice way of looking at things. You're stressed about not having a space of your own (which I can TOTALLY empathize with) but you close by being grateful that you have a place to live. Lately I've been looking at things that way too, in part due to your blog. So thanks for that.

Andrea@shopbyog said...

I love that you are grateful! Isn't it amazing that even in the hardest of circumstances there is still, always something to be grateful for? God is so good and living a life of gratitude is contagious!

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